TRAVEL DIARY

A weblog regularly updated by Jodi Rose.

Sunday, February 02, 2003

1:17 PM
Posted by jodi rose

Collingwood
I miss the ocean even more after that two day teaser staying in Clovelly. Melbourne just doesn't really have anything like it, and don't try telling me the bay is ocean because it's a flat grey dirty lake.
Still haven't reconnected to my energy and enthusiasm, dragging this sorry ass through day after day without any real clear idea of why or where I'm heading.
Trying to get the sound out and into the world - but have been informed by my curator for an upcoming show that she couldn't listen to it because of the distortion on the recording from pushing the microphones - but I actually quite like that particular piece. I don't mind some excess noise and un-clean sonic objects, in fact I object to the notion of having to produce ultra high level clean pure sound with no external noise or ambient intervention. Life just isn't like that, and neither are bridges. It feels artificial to attempt an aural cleansing, the sound is what it is. messy, chaotic, out of control, I'm sick of the academic world too, where thoughts are meant to be contained and ordered into neat linear coherent rational narratives. Explosions of passion and imagination and wonder and meandering reflections are definitely not welcome. What excatly am I doing, I ask myself? well, I started on this journey and I guess I need closure on a few aspects of it, but what I really long to be doing is getting out onto some more bridges and miking them up to talk with each other across the oceans and continents. that's what makes my spirit sing. and I think the cables are the voice of god - without any justification, proof or rational coherent logic. they just are. take it or leave it!
As you can see, a little cranky and cantankerous today - finding that I don't really fit in the world I seem to be attempting to operate in, and wondering why I find myself here and if there is some other frame of reference I could find to be in context, somewhere that resonates on a higher frequency?
Yes, my recent experience working on two of John Edward's shows have had an impact, some of the things he talked about made a lot of sense, and if that brands me as an out there spiritualist wacko, then so be it. I seem to be in very good company.
Maybe I just need to let loose and write exactly what I feel and believe - just not sure how that will do down within the academic framework. Not very good at discipline at the moment. or spelling for that matter.
This too shall pass. my mantra for now.
I can see myself having an incredible installation of live bridge video and sound from around the world, and I guess I'm a little bit bored of trying to fit my ideas into an arena that is way to rational and dry and lifeless for them.
It was all fine while I was travelling, there seem to be no consequences and no obligations when you're on the other side of the world - even if that is an illusion - but the weight of one's life crashes down again once you land back on home ground.
Maybe I can work out how to keep drifting in nomadic digital bliss for ever. Any suggestions?