TRAVEL DIARY

A weblog regularly updated by Jodi Rose.

VIEWING ALL POSTS FOR: JUNE 2004

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

6:59 PM
Posted by jodi rose

ABraCadabra Harris St, Ultimo
long silence due to intensive bridge listening. Maybe one day I will decipher the message in the wires.
Then again, maybe not. Haunted by the existential questions. Time here is drawing close to the end, a rising sense of panic which I try and stifle by various means. Where on earth am I going after this? Can't really go back to admin work or waitressing - well, I can but would much prefer not to - it's been an incredible charmed 6 months, and now I'm used to being a full time artist, really don't want to stop. Guess we'll see what the final product is and hope that it leads somewhere.
Ben came in and listened to the musical improvisations, he was really excited by them and gave me lots of very specific and good suggestions for how to weave all the material together. Lucky, as I had been completely overwhelmed and listening to it last week on my own decided it was all crap and we'd have to start again. Ah the artistic temperament. A blessing and a curse.

Finding myself able to be more present in everyday life, and go deeper in the last few weeks. This is my aim, whatever the external circumstances of life may be, to stay grounded and focused and on the path.
of righteousness, I'm not so sure :)

Friday night had many fun and crazy adventures, in a bacchanalian spirit - pre-solstice celebrations, I have since decided. And it is after all the darkest time of year here in the southern hemisphere, even though the sunshine during the day is still warm in this very mild city. Getting dark around 5pm not so much fun. Waiting to hear about funding for trip to Copenhagen for Overgaden sound festival, and Helsinki for ISEA. State of limbo - hard to plan ahead. Feeling the urge to have some kind of settled home - nomadic container house, or inflatable down to a suitcase would be perfect. Sometime the physical world is so constraining. Then again, it has it's pleasures too....
must be time to go home now, am in danger of becoming completely obsessed. instead of just mildly. although as sophea pointed out, you can't actually BE mildly obsessed.

Tuesday, June 8, 2004

7:19 PM
Posted by jodi rose

Sometimes I wonder why. Anything. At all.
Today there seems to be an ever increasing list of totally urgent things to get done. Back late at ABC, making audio cd's from all my interviews so I can listen and log them at home tomorrow. Mountains of admin to get on top of, and oh yes that's right then there's the creative work. Hmmmm. I've been trying to step back and get some perspective on it, find space to write and explore ideas. They're all milling around somewhere, between my head and bits of paper but bringing it all together is the challenge.
Worrying that the program will be crap, nothing like the poetic, musical, evocative, wonderful piece in my imagination. But then, is anything ever as good as you imagine? The jury is still out on that one. Some things are, don't want to come over all cynical.

On Sunday night I went with Lisa to the premiere of Helen's War, a documentary Anna Broinowski made on her aunt Helen Caldicott. She is an inspiration, one woman on a mission, to achieve a nuclear free world in the next five years. She says it's possible. Although, she says this is the most dangerous time to be living. Famous for her comment in the 80's cold war, that you can only kill a human once. Having enough nuclear capability to kill the world many times over is redundant. We need to stop killing each other, is her basic message. So simple, and yet the machines of power and war seem so irrevocably in place throughout the world. It gets crazier every day. The next morning I heard on the radio that Howard has agreed to set up joint training facilities for US troops in Australia. Great, just what we need. Bob Hawke was quoted in the Herald, saying that sycophancy is not leadership. indeed. It's very troubling and deeply disturbing to be living in country where the leaders pay no attention to the wishes of the people. And they call this democracy.

Anyway, I am exercising my democratic rights by choosing to dedicate my life to the pursuit of... what is it, beauty? no, truth? not exactly.... the unsayable. The moment of wonder in everyday life that takes you beyond the mundane into another state. Through bridges, or poetry, whatever it takes. The gaps in the fabric of society, they fascinate me. Not having to be productive and successful and beautiful or powerful. More yoga, more time in the country, more getting the work done regardless.

Friday, June 4, 2004

12:17 PM
Posted by jodi rose

Woke up this morning with the urge to clean my desk - incredible! Mission accomplished, I am now sitting writing on the laptop, occasionally gazing out the window or soaking up the sun. Recovering from a cold/flu bug, not too severe this time but still enough to make me rest for a few days.
I've almost succeeded in pulling focus back to the present and my actual physical location - living room yoga this morning helped - and hope to get some actual work done soon. It's a little frustrating having so much to do and being all over the place in the head. Mostly in Helsinki - there's so much happening over there, projects I am nominally involved in, but the distance thing is an issue. Even in this highly networked world. The Biennale of Sydney opened last night, I'm going to check out some art and talks this weekend. Reason and Emotion, is the theme - how apt :) Is that even a word? ept, apt, I don't know any more. nothing makes any sense. Almost on top of the demons that launched a surprise attack last week, and feeling that all the ideas I'm dreaming up actually ARE possible. What I really need is a little inflatable/deflatable space pod, that I can have set up with all my stuff and just pack it up into a suitcase size for the plane or bus or ferry transit, and then POP it infolds and inflates into a studio/bedroom in any location. Provide housing, work space, all the equipment and reading and clothes and sound gear etc that I need, right there.
Yes, the issue of being nomadic is still something I am coming to terms with. I think it helps if you have a stable base somewhere in the world, even just a small patch of land with a container on it to leave stuff in and come back to. Ideally, of course, it would be a character and light-filled cottage right by the ocean - a wild, dramatic seascape - with interesting people nearby and plenty of opportunities for creative work and relaxation.

Dream on. As we have seen, if you can dream it, you can make it happen.

Tuesday, June 1, 2004

6:21 PM
Posted by jodi rose

I'm finally coming back down to earth. Have been in the one place for over a week now, and am not quite sure what to do with myself. Suddenly time seems quite short, there is a lot to do in the next 6 weeks before my final studio booking to produce the radio broadcast.

Perth was fun, the experimental music night Club Zho, at the Hellenic Club in Northbridge was a stellar cast of artists and performers. The highlight definitely being 'new music karaoke', a hybrid of experimental compositions played to the classic kitsch karaoke video, brought out some stunning performances. The audience was filled with luminaries, from Stelarc, to Nigel Helyer, Alan Lamb and many others. Staying with Nigel was great, it became a mini sound art workshop, he is an excellent catalyst for getting out into the world and making work. He is working on a project called lifeboat for the ISEA cruise, Nellia was busy making the costumes, and I helped go through and identify political/ethical positions from a questionaire for the grid/map he's making up.

Then took the train and bus down to the deepest south WA for 6 hours, to Walpole. Walked in the treetops - the bridge is amazing, the whole structure is built to oscillate, so it sways and bounces, taking you out of the comfort zone. Talked with Geoff Warn, the architect of the walk, later that week and he told me that it was designed to feel like you do when climbing to the top of a tree. very cool.
Returned to Sydney, trying to get my life in order.

Unpacked a few more boxes in my room, which brought on existential angst about home and belonging, or the lack thereof. Am feeling particularly transient right now, and it's starting to get me down. At this age, it would be nice to have my own place, but then I look at the news and my life seems to be one of incredible privilege and safety. And it is, after all, my choice to run around making insane sound compositions with bridges, and not to lead a well-ordered, planned life where I have a mortgage and a steady job. Still, the complete lack of stability feels a little terrifying right now. I'm trying to have faith, and keep believing in the path that I have chosen, but it seems like an insane gamble at this point with no back-up plan. Success isn't even the point, I'm happy if I get to keep on making work and playing with different people, how it is received is nothing to do with me. It's one of those things, you just have to let go of your desire to be liked and appreciated and get lost in the work, then let it go once it's out in the world. You have no control over how any interprets or experiences it. Which is a damn good thing. Didactic artists are the worst, who want to dictate everything to you - I'm a big fan of multipile layers of meaning, and leaving space for the unexpected.

Speaking of which, my new fascination is with emotionally responsive computing. I'm working up a proposal combining that and the sonic GPS mapping that gives you audio information about the place you are in, so that you can walk around a city and have your own personalised experience of stories, information and context delivered to you via a mobile device. Hmmm, big new technology, love it!