TRAVEL DIARY

A weblog regularly updated by Jodi Rose.

  

VIEWING ALL POSTS FOR: APRIL 2007

Monday, April 30, 2007

3:48 PM
Posted by jodi rose

my life here in berlin seems to consist of an endless series of negotiations between one place and another. moving bags of stuff around, washing other peoples sheets or bathrooms, packing and repacking without ever really unpacking. cycling for hours a day, along roads that fade to hazy uncertainty beyond the known paths, linking the concrete strips with the image on a map to find the next place to stop for a moment.

reading J.G. Ballard's 'High Rise' in between, eerily reminiscent of the frankfurter allee apartment tower, where I return tonight for a few evenings of bonding with the now familiar artists still iiving there. that and the most spectucular, rejuvenating bath in berlin. and the slowly revolving deutsche bahn sign ten floors below.

a nice circularity to this particular experience of berlin.

talking with rob and katie at morgenland yesterday, about wether to try and resucitate my flagging career... rob pointed out that 'career' means: to veer wildly about. so I guess in those terms, I'm doing ok.

then derek reminded me that it's been a good few overseas trips and really I have nothing to complain about.

the necessity of living very much day-to-day has given me the unexpected benefit of having to become incredibly zen about life.
really 'in-the-moment' now!

and getting my head around uploading all the pixelache conversations by ftp in batches, finally. so they're on archive.org now, and will be individually addressed in the transit radio website sometime soon.

enjoying the ongoing conversations that have been sparked by these meetings also, maybe segueing into some other interesting projects.

the 'I'm not trying anymore - I give up' moment is still there, not so much in a foot-stamp 'It's not working the way I want so why bother' way, more of a: 'this long process has stretched me to the limit of all my resources - emotionally, financially, geographically - and instead of tightening the frail rubber band of my and capacity to cope with life to snapping point, I'm choosing to let it all go and see what rises from the ashes' kind of attitude. already today I have news from luka that the 'play bridge vj' controller instrument receives some funding from their slovenian cultural body; so that is very exciting and gives a spark of hope. even if we just have that made, to play some fun gigs it would be good. The other bridges can take care of themselves for a while.

tonight I go to help jacob and sarah move boxes into their new apartment - just arrived from cologne - I look forward to this as a vicariously grounding exercise!

Sunday, April 29, 2007

12:12 PM
Posted by jodi rose

I had an epiphany last night, there in the electronic church listening to dutch boys with a nice exquisite corpse concept and a few good sounds.

Suddnely I realised, "I don't have to be a sound artist anymore."
My god, what a relief. I am no officially an ex-sound artist. Or maybe an unsound artist.

Katie asked (reasonably); 'what are you going to do?'

Write. I'm actually a writer masquerading as a sound artist. I can't believe it's taken this long and no-one has pulled me up on it yet.
Although tony barrell did ask when I pitched my transit radio project -
'hmmm, yes, but are you any good?'

Ok, sometimes I will still engage in activities that may involve audio signal in some form, and even record or compose now and then.
But I really can't be that person anymore. 'The bridge girl'.

"It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for something you are not."*

She's gone. sorry. That's not the whole story and is no longer my identifying tag. Make something up. Imagine a new life. Draw a door to another world and step through it.

"To know how to free oneself is nothing; the arduous thing is to know what to do with one's freedom"*

Andrew reminded me in our conversation at pixelache; 'no-one cares as much as you' (about whatever esoteric project you're doing). He's right, and if I can no longer find the faith to continue; who can?

It really is time to step back from the certainties of this path and find out what the subtle syren call to my soul is saying. So aliteratively. Although, I can hazard a guess ;) But indulge me on this.

"Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it."*

So last night after the klangkunst party of the century, which included a sublime set by derek and rob who tuned into the room and shook it, then very avant-garde weirdness with actual instruments (drum, electric guitar and violin) that was beautiful but somehow the primal scream element didn't quite work for me. Hung around for a while chatting to various people, including a young hegel philosopher who told me 'don't go to amsterdam, it's so boring' and I thought, oh thank god, that's exactly what I need! And Sara who promises me a trip to her family in the country, including a visit to her grandmother to play a dutch card game that she tried to explain but remains obscure until the clarifying edge of experience. We ended up at bar 25 sitting by the 40 gallon drum fire, talking about sicily and darwin and the joy of other people's families. I need that contact with another world, it's so easy when travelling and arting to only meet people of a like age and type.
Mixin' it up a bit with the Dutch and Sicilian grandma's :)

Whatever you do, as a friend reminded me last night: go without expectation. (I CHING hexagram 35). Yes, that is the precise intent. Be in the world, without expectation or desire and find out where life takes you. It is possible, without becoming nihilistic or paralysed.

Right now is a very intriguing place. Space is the place, he also said :)

To get back to the philosophical musing, it's really challenging and taxing being this far out on the edge of any comfort zone or safety in life - but also quite amazing. Like finding yourself on the edge of mountain or cliff in total darkness and seeing stars for the first time.


*(Quotes from Andre Gide)

Saturday, April 28, 2007

6:44 PM
Posted by jodi rose

Man, am I feeling feisty today.

In conflict with three different people on a professional basis, and where usually my inclination is to smooth over, make nice, try to please everyone; in each of these instances I need to actually stand my ground. Be clear but firm, and not leave until the situation is resolved.

To summarise, they involve a missing artwork, a journalist, a curator, and an international company. But don't worry, I'm not going to go all Erin Brokovich on you. Although, perhaps that would be a good strategy on the large scale for this project. get to know every single bridge monitoring engineer and head of department in the world, personally, and show them that having their bridge sing is essential for world peace. At last, a reason for living ;)

Having had yet another negative funding decision. you know what? Maybe it is time to give this whole caper a break. I'm letting it go.
If it comes back, it's meant to be, if not, it's time I had a life that can be sustained without constantly being on the brink of destitution.

At least there is some good company in this strange maelstrom of life.

Taking myself off to Holland for a much-needed break from the relentless demands of kunst in Berlin, klang and otherwise.

My current flatmate Beat commented that the art scene in berlin is 'hysterical' at the moment, so maybe that is something I'm picking up on. Like a psychic sponge absorbing all the resonances in the city.

Went along to five or so openings in the schmick gallery district of linienstrasse and auguststrasse last night, and it was like being in a fashion parade. So many stick-thin women wearing high-class suits or fancy frocks and looks of pained self-importance, while the Berlin boys flash by all wide-eyed and funky hair with a mere glance of disdain at the primped and pretty girls. Lordy, what chance does an eccentric zaftig girl like myself stand of making an impression in that kind of company. Not that I'd necessarily want to impress anyone so self-involved. Irks me that part of the job of being an artist, having to be seen out and about looking cool and sexy - surely the art can speak for itself. But apparently not, if you want to buy into success you need to play the fame-in-the-artworld game. Maybe the price IS too high.

Yep, it's vicious, cruel and completely indiscreet. Hell I love Berlin.

So I'm taking a 'time-out'. Katie and I were discussing the other night the perverse appeal of a cuppa tea and bed; or even worse, cleaning the bathroom and doing the dishes; instead of another night of experimental music, art and people. I'm starting the 'slow life' movement.

Friends in Amsterdam/Utrecht/Eindhoven promise a coccoon of cake, company and comfort. Sure, it's oh-so very glamorous this international artist lifestyle, until you actually start living it and find that reality takes it's own toll. Maybe I'll run away with the circus after all and join the freakshow. Although, my fellow transit loungers do provide a daily source of succour and inspiration, it's just this vile mood today is not letting up. Time to go worship at the Electronic Church.

This quote from Andre Gide, randomly showed up in my email:

"Be faithful to that which exists within yourself"

yes.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

11:02 AM
Posted by jodi rose

so, last night I sent myself a to do list by email, in an attempt to avoid that morning fog-head which seems to be a regular occurence now. (ich habe ein probleme mit kreislauf!) I just read it and thought, my god, you really ARE insane. But now, it's all possible and now is the time for concerted effort. It's starting to feel like real life here. I love it.

today you need to:

select and compose the cellar sweeping piece
meet torben at 12:00 at his place to pick up keys
drop off minidisc at 2:00 at the rigaer str.
meet michael r at 3.30 at academie die kunst for interview
talk with kenzee, is, jasper and issy at 5pm re show
go to daz talk at 7pm

also when you get the time:

write to florians network friends
write up book proposal and send it to literary agent in london
write up tension proposal for ici fellowship
find out how to apply for tesla residency
check out moost and other finland residencies
apply to frame and cable factory/hiap for next year in helsinki
write to bbr again
find out about erasmus bridge and deaf in rotterdam - make appt with engineer monitors and architects
find cultural organisation in singapore dealing with new bridge there, make proposal
write to tom h. - intro jacob and idea to play sound of bridge through the structure
write up ideas for bridge theatre and send them to nazli
listen to recordings from bangkok re composition collaboration with j.

decide when going to holland - meet with threes anna
monique, sara, robbert, isabel, lotta (eindhoven)

think about istanbul/barcelona/lisbon/st petersberg
find cultural orgs, bridge people
write proposal for philanthropists to support project
apply to abaf for tax free status

take a deep breath
go out into the sunshine and enjoy life!

xxx love rio

Thursday, April 19, 2007

1:03 PM
Posted by jodi rose

somehow the intangible demands of kunst make it impossible to stay afloat on everyday life - things like doing washing, putting air in the tyres - just keep sinking to the end of the list again and again. while we tinker with dust in the cellar and record absences along the waterfront.

my cycle route every morning starts on frankfurter allee, then hangs a left at cafe moskau off karl-marx allee and over the spree, down by the ming dynasty chinese restaurant to the josetti hofe, third courtyard. the building complex is an old cigarette factory, and our gallery space is called 'juno' gallery after the brand of cigarettes manufactured here. which I love, as junoesque is one of my favourite terms for a statuesque woman, better even than zaftig.

speaking of which, had to stay home drinking coffee and listening to the bbc world - outlook - which is one reason to not leave the house -until they got to the segment on beth ditto, 'larger-than-life' singer with 'gossip' whose music is described as 'riot-disco'. yeah! good to hear a feminist lesbian singer taking the world by storm and not apologising for anything, especially not the way she looks. it's all bout the music, says 'the coolest woman on the planet' (as voted by NME 2006) and hell why should only the size zero chicks get the spotlight.

in fact, why do women want to starve themselves out of existence?
scares me no end.

on to the cellar this morning, recording isabel sweeping up dust.

last night went to tesla and heard jacob k speak about his work, loop tower - rec of the mechanism that makes alexanderplatz tower go round - and a gorgeous radio work from 2001, mesmerising voices, a girl in love with an angel. tonight he's playing at Ausland, AION, the recordings from abandoned buildings in chernoybl twenty years later.
We caught up for a drink and walk in the park on tuesday, after my grant madness finished and he signed the lease on a new apt near kotbusser tor. Talking about his work on recording cellular sounds - apparently the ear actually transmits sound as well as receiving it, and electricity samples for a danish horror film; the broadway columns resonating work at the swiss art institutein ny; and my recordings in bangkok and new directions with bridge theatre/cabaret and transit radio. I love seeing these people who just catch the energy of an idea and go with it, floating moments... already thinking of ways to mix our sounds, and start a conversation salon. ah the joys of a bohemian life in berlin. it's all coming together.

friday night is folktronica at trumpete, with jasmina machina, melinda song, kiki bohemia and justine electra at 'my urban soul part II'.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

7:28 PM
Posted by jodi rose

the transit radio lounge ended up being a series of waiting rooms in empty spaces, with some fabulous beauracratic furniture (including the desk with 'anmeldung' label on it - what you need to register your address as a foreigner in germany) and a collection of 60's-70's radio (borrowed from seamus - thank you!) all tuned to the transit lounge conversations.

jasper, isabelle and kenzee built a fabulous cosy cubby-house out of watering cans outside the window, and we installed two radios in those closest to the ears of the person lying in the deckchair inside, with a great stereo effect. most people ended up hanging out there by the spree, as it was such a gorgeous spring night, which meant the gallery rooms were mainly empty - but this worked well for that sense of abandoned spaces and non-functioning beauracratic emptiness.

the bugged radio was very obvious, am curious to find out what we captured on the night from people walking by, or talking into it.

now it seems that I will stay in the transit lounge a little longer, as the new artists are happy to collaborate, and we all took a trip to the cellar to check out the possibilities of the space. It's huge, goes under the entire three buildings and courtyards, with a series of interconnecting rooms and doors. Dreaming up labyrinthine ideas and experiences for the audience, and watching inspirational films down there on monday evening. after the new david lynch 'INLAND EMPIRE' at Berlin Arsenal, everyone will be soaking with ideas and possibilities.

this is the city of infinite possibility. sometimes you can't think too loud, as whatever it is in your mind has a tendency to happen, almost instantaneously. I've never been anywhere so prone to co-incidence and synchronicity. Remembering that it works best if you just go with it. Give yourself up to the city, and see where she takes you.

Planning a series of whispered enticements in the dark spaces underground, based on fairtyales and myths, fragmented through experiences and replayed in stereo remixes.

Radio unplugged, as a new friend called the installation last week.

Tonight is the curators without borders exhibition opening, followed by joni's boyfriends' tattoo parlour exhibition (no pain no brain) and then home to an early night and more writing to deadline.

Tchuss,

xx transit loungessa princesza

Saturday, April 7, 2007

2:05 AM
Posted by jodi rose

Places out of Purpose (image by Vassiliea Stylianidou)

notes from the luft in berlin
'art is my home'
'i am here'
'how do you have that kind of life (explore new places to see if they're nice)'.... 'how do you not?'

traces of failure
places of possibility
places abandoned by the rules
(collaboration with vassiliea stylianidou for transit lounge)

radio in transit
zwischenpausen
(in between pauses)

eroffnung donnerstag 12 aprll

no-input fringe festival
cloud watching workshop

icelandic faeries
scream and hear them directly in your head
a bit like the placard festival next to me in kiasma lounge, gorgeous seeing all these people lolling in beanbags listening to live music

www.leplacard.org

performed a live conversation with kjaersti, a fabulous norwegian conceptual artist working with knitting, capital punishment and purple apples... http://www.myspace.com/formaica

also met jean-baptiste, creator of myownspace.fr and the 15 +1 CD compiliation of every cover version made of the song 'billie jean'
which made sense after the nirvana version at the closing party.

talked with lots of media activistist/theorists and artists, armin medosch blogged me, and hung out in the transit lounge radio for a while (it was nice with all the alvar aalto furniture - worth 20,000 euro)

http://mazine.ws/node/549

met a young designer slumming it (used to touring with huge international rock bands and seeing the world through taxis) working with united visual artists, very wild permanent led installation at london nightclub Kabaret Prophecy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjL2l-Lf7lA

stayed with sophea helped direct her brain for packing up house to move to australia via delhi, visited mari for coffee and a tshirt from her reindeer trip from north to south of finland, then lunch with andrew before heading to the airport bus and chatting with a portuquese designer/vj about an artist residency farm outside lisbon.

and finally going to salon bruit tonight for derek and rob's gig
at lichtblick kino on kastanianallee then adam's birthday party

many hours of sound editing await and all the artists are suffering kreislauf - the berlin affliction of low blood pressure esp when everyone else is having a holiday for easter and you know art never sleeps....