TRAVEL DIARY

A weblog regularly updated by Jodi Rose.

  

VIEWING ALL POSTS FOR: OCTOBER 2007

Monday, October 29, 2007

11:52 PM
Posted by jodi rose

yesterday morning I woke up to a riot going on in my street - well a mob of chanting young men draped in turkish flags, and dozens of riot police - and today it was a hollywood movie trailer along the canal. loitered near the set to see a glimpse of our nic or ralph fiennes, but only some extras wrapped in blue blankets. still, there's never a dull moment in neukolln.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

10:16 PM
Posted by jodi rose

So, I got the lowdown from one of my excellent new writers group friends about the money I could be earning if I happened to write press releases and bio's for a major, major label. Lordy, integrity is an expensive business! Still, the music is much much better where I am...

...and the company isn't so bad either ;)

The writers meeting was excellent - some very measured and productive critiques of really interesting work, and then getting raucous with yet more Australians afterwards. Who knew. Not only half the sound artists are fleeing to Berlin, it's a haven for our writers too. Great meeting smart, fun people who make each other laugh.

Oh, yes, that's right, and I somehow managed to embroil myself in having some work discussed next week. Yikes, am going to have to get myself over that two years of writing terror damn smart.

Just remembering what it was that I wanted to say again. With all this. Kind of tricky when you're made your life into the material for your 'art' and then start going back over that - does it become a feedback loop, or is it all well-mulched compost that grows into something bigger and flourishes in a new garden? (Don't know what's with the horticulture references, I have the exact opposite of a green thumb. They all look the same to me)

Besides all that, I'm doing my best to dig my heels into the rocky slope before I slide all the way down into a deep winter depression. The snap freeze in these parts is feisty, and without all kinds of material and immaterial comforts and sustenance it can look pretty grim. Still, on the bright side, there is a whole new level of wardrobe to explore. My minimal techno boss just paid enough for me to buy the doona-in-coat-form that I fell in love with today, which I hope will stop me from literally freezing on those occasions when I managed to leave my apartment and make it out onto the streets. Although I will have to write harder and faster to keep the starving wolves at bay.

Just as I was processing my latest dilemma about swallowing pride and doing crap work, because, really, starving and freezing is SO not an option (even if it does make a good story afterwards) the man at the table next to me (in the very hip cafe overflowing with arty types) said to his galerist or curator (I couldn't work out which was which):

"I want to make money in a special way. In a real way. I don't want to fuck myself while I am alive. You would make money, but not in that way."

Not sure exactly what he meant in the middle there - maybe something about not selling out - but it was perfect.

Art and money, that's what it's all about in this town.
How to make them meet and blend.

Hey, it's nice when everyone around is struggling too. Well, almost.
Except for the phat success stories who the kids are emulating.

Trying not to let myself get terrified into complete inaction by the prospect of all this insanity continuing. I mean, something has to change, sooner or later, right? There must be a way to leap across this tiny gap in the road and find myself over in that nice sunny meadow.
As Philippa reminded me - very glamorously from her current highly credible writers digs at Shakespeare and Co in Paris - 'even if you're driving from one side of the country to the other, you only need to see the road ten feet in front of you, to get there'. It doesn't matter that you don't know what's up ahead, or how any of it will work. Hang on in there. Stay along for the ride. Yep, it's gonna be a bumpy night.
But you know what, the dawn will come. I know, it's always darkest and indeed this has been a long long night. Keep the faith.

I thought it was only my kreislauf but realised that it's more than that. A simple lapse of faith. The only way to get over that, is to leap once more into the abyss, and not worry about how deep or far you go. Just take that step, and let the current carry you where it will. My stepmother tells me a wonderful story about a woman in the early 1900's who tried to commit suicide by jumping off the newly built Avon Suspension Bridge, in Bristol. Apparently her voluminous skirts caught the wind and billowed out around her, effectively forming a parachute so that she floated safely down to the depths of the chasm and lived to a ripe old age of 95. Actually, I made that last bit up, but you know. News of my demise has been greatly exaggerated!!!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

12:14 AM
Posted by jodi rose

Did I promise or imply that something clear, focused and articulate would emerge on these pages soon? It was certainly my wish and hope...

For now, we may have to remain content with the swirling mists of mellow fruitlessness... inspiration strikes every now and then, I have a scribbled list of musical insight and ideas currently fading into the skin of my hand - terrible schoolgirl habit, but I didn't want to disturb 'the necks' concert by rustling in my back with paper as well as finding the pen.

It's all percolating, still taking shape.

There's no point in going off half-baked now, is there ;)

Speaking of which, my unending quest to find schwarzwaldekirschtorte appears to be in vain, so I will have to make one myself. Any recipes?

Collected three new CD's today and a pile of corrections an inch thick from my rock'n'roll boss, and have a seething morass of proposal deadlines heading towards me at warp velocity. Something about a working to a deadline makes that instantly productive energy kick in; I just wish I could harness it at a more sustainable, manageable pace.

On the local news front, I joined a book group and a writer's group, and randomly met a lovely young Australian girl working on her novella in a cafe* (in beautiful green ink), so invited her along too. Because too many Australians are never enough!! Doing my best to mingle with the other kids too, it's just that critical mass develops so quickly into a raucous Aussie Posse.

*Co-incidentally (and Berlin is the most co-incidental city in the world, as Rob used to say, 'I'm thinking too loud again' things just happen) we met in the same cafe where I had the most excellent fortune to drop by on my cycle back from picking up the mail in Neukolln last week, and heard a trio of extraordinary musicians creating some very wild new music. An incubating period for all of us, perhaps.

Monday, October 15, 2007

10:32 AM
Posted by jodi rose

Trying to work myself up into enough of a lather to cut-and-paste the latest grant application. The returns are so uncertain, but then, it does buy time and freedom when they're successful. What I really need is a bridge-loving philanthropist who really wants to hear the global bridge symphony and makes a sizeable gift to support it. Anyone....?

It's fantastic, the latest swirl of ideas melting down into the next series of performances, instruments and exhibitions are just hilarious.
I mean, if you can't have some fun with art made from bridge sounds, then something's wrong. And believe me, the next stage of this project is going to be both artistically rigorous and very entertaining.

The creative melting furnace that is Berlin has been feeding me all kinds of new possibilities, people and perceptions. After my Milla Jovovich moment on Wednesday night, I've had a completely insane four days. Met the most incredible assortment of people to play with, from a metal-working artist who sings in a trash-pop choir (with german lyrics) that I might join, and lives around the corner from my new apartment; to an ex-punk real estate agent with a great country house going cheap, who also worked on the dropping knowledge project and gave me some great contacts to get technical advice; to a french marine biologist going to work in tahiti; a video director and animator who also lives near my new place; a finance whiz who actually checked the stockmarket on his blackberry at babel; an advertising guru working with last.fm who filled me in on the latest methods for generating income from content (which is what creative work is this days, apparently, better get used to it!); a DIY radio activist who created a portable suitcase transmitter and station during the anti-apartheid struggle in South Africa and with the Zapatistas in South America; and finally an intriguing experimental saxophonist with a great hat from Istanbul.

Threw myself around on the dancefloor at Kim, a minimal bar in the 'brutal' part of mitte that had the uber-hip twentysomething beautiful people all posing and pashing on the dancefloor at 5am (in that hideous retro that passes for fashion these days - god I'm getting old!), to a bizarre array of 80's tunes including Billy Joel and Stevie Nicks, with the musical highlight being the wonderful Go-Betweens 'Streets of Your Town'.

Derek's performance at Kita was amazing. Beautiful handmade motors with circular patterns projected over photo-transistors that created fantastically detailed and intricate sounds and images. Beautiful.

What more could you need, than to fill your days and nights with strange ideas, sounds and people. Yes, life in Berlin is good.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

11:59 AM
Posted by jodi rose

drinking can actually save your life!

read this story about a poisoned tourist and his vodka drip.

Unskilled migrants swarm to the city

Great piece of subtle subversion in journalism in the headline to this story about bogong moths invading Sydney. Apparently they particularly like parliament house, but so far none have passed the new government test for migrants. Which is mercilessly satirised here by Catherine Deveny, with a real cultural test for all Australians (most of the people who grew up there certainly wouldn't pass the official version)

'We don't want migrants coming here with their fancy food, classy culture, rich traditions and willingness to contribute'

so that's my digest of news from down under

today in berlin it's grey and chilly, I'm a little wiped out from my 5th element experience last night (you know the scene where milla jovovich is connected and this surge of pure energy pulses through her) believe me there were no mind-altering substances involved. only my thoughts, which I guess are the most mind-altering thing of all ;)

taking my daily does of modest mouse - I'm addicted to their song 'the good times are killing me' - also need to hear 'the world at large' and 'float on' at least once. it's fun being a fan, gives you a nice rush of emotional energy through the music.

raster noton

dropped in to the innovative electronica and digital music label Raster Noton's 11th birthday concert and party at Volksbühne last night, and had my atoms rearranged by a few minutes of signal in the theatre. amazing sound. still in the throes of my epiphany, and so didn't mingle with the crowds and alcoholic beverages, but came home to an early evening of blameless meditation and solitude.

today is a mix of gold dust, weaving together threads from past activities and sending them back out into the world in a new form, meeting with the producers team for radio metropolis in neukolln, then kita this evening to check out Derek's performance.

kita

d.rock

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

11:14 PM
Posted by jodi rose

Respect and greetings to all the wonderful fellow bridge sound artists:


Fabulous Amy Denio, recording bridges in Seattle since 1995! (weaving a web of music around the world)

Bill Fontana, the original bridge man, inspiring with sound bridges since the seventies and his gorgeous harmonic Millennium Bridge

Michael Rüsenberg and his wonderful Cologne Bridge Symphony

Rafael Toral also collecting recordings of bridges (see future projects: bridge music)

Tom Hall recently released an album of the Story Bridge in brisbane

Joseph Bertolozzi composing a score to play on the hudson bridge


you are all amazing
I hope we can play together soon!!

I've just had one of those extraordinary moments when finally the pattern of a constantly shifting kaleidoscope stops, and settles into a whole new vista. It's amazing. The tiniest, most infinitesimal shift in perception and the world has completely opened up. Wow. I'm stunned by how simple it is, and in a slight state of shock that it has taken me so long to realise this. To see it.

Every single thing in my life up to this point has just dovetailed to create this one moment. It's incredible when that happens.

The summit education talks in berlin a few months ago - one of them about the rejection of compulsive performativity (just say NO, I can't!) and another about the non-radical moment of change, which isn't a rejection or revolution of what exists, but in accepting it and slightly shifting your perception, although everything is the same it is completely different afterwards. The personal and emotional journy, to learn to be more receptive, to listen... the professional networks and constant joy of meeting such fabulously creative, inspirational people and learning from how they approach their work and do things...

I'm reeling. Have to log off and go play with the other humans in the real world.

...oh, you want to know what it is, this brand new shiny insight? fresh off the plane from another world? all in good time, my dears. It will be revealed when the time is right. Good night xxjr

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

4:55 PM
Posted by jodi rose

beeping from all over the world...

seem to have developed a meta-level to life and art
it's keeping me amused.
the cabaret character is slowly emerging, a bridge burlesque with stories of misfits and outcasts, trolls and angels, lovers, sinners and freaks!
imagine something along the lines of tom waits meets gogol bordello, with a touch of gilda and a sideways glance at betty page.
just keep throwing myself in the deep end with life...
and I'm still learning to swim.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

2:44 PM
Posted by jodi rose

I had an entire conversation a few weeks ago about breakfast choices.
Now, having grown up in Australia, I am a big fan of breakfast in any form. Cereal, toast with vegemite, scrambled eggs, orange juice, a latte, all or any of the above make me happy. I will never become European enough to wake up and imbibe black coffee and cigarettes. But, there are evidently some people in Germany who eat breakfast, as the range of museli options here is quite extraordinary. Normally, muesli is a healthy choice, right? As long as you avoid the ones with high sugar content and too many preservatives. Here, there is a fantastic variation on the fruit/museli axis which involves chocolate. I kid you not. At least five brands make some form of shoko-museli, and for some reason I find this blend of health and decadence incredibly amusing. To the point where I rarely eat anything else except chocolate museli for breakfast. Start the day laughing, I say. Now in the bio-shop, I even found a version of Amaranth Shoko-Museli. So, you get the ultra-wellness giving ancient aztec grain (!?!) along with nice subtle wafer thin chocolatey bits. Genius. Apparently, the invention of breakfast cereal was originally for a more sinister purpose, but I'm not entirely sure that I follow the logic of this theory.

For lunch, I've moved on to something that is both very german and not at all - tofu bratwurst. Yep, it's very tasty with some frozen veggies and scrambled eggs on dark rye toast with gouda cheese. Not sure if that's a healthy meal or not, but it's all part of my new relationship to food; ie: how can I fuel my body most effeciently and cost-effectively. Somehow managed to melt two-and-a-half dress sizes without thinking about it, until my clothes started looking wrong. Ah, the wonders of the Berlin Artist Diet - Starving and Cycling all Summer. There's gotta be a book in that somewhere. 'How to move to Europe without any income or savings, and have no-one realise you've gone for good this time for at least the first six months'.... Call me now with an offer!!!! (I have to pay back those loans somehow ;) That or the philosophical travel memoir: Bridge Girl Triumphs!

A friend told me that she was talking about my writing with someone and they both agreed that I should be paid just to write. Well, I'm acutally making an income from words now, which is amazing. That and a tiny little bit of corporate online research which even I don't quite understand. But the writing is very very cool. It's also opened up space in my imagination to go back and find the joy, playfulness and inspiration in other art projects again. Working on a series of collaborations for impossible bridges with people I'm meeting here. See, everyone wins! And also just started contributing to a fantastic new street mag in sydney, LOOP. My copy arrived in the mail yesterday, and I've been loving catching up on local events, artists and bands through this excellent publication. Great writing, and captures the vibrant, incredibly diverse music/art/cultural scenes in Sydney - Newcastle and more. Read it now!!


OK, well, that's all I can think of to procrastinate with, best get to work now. Over and out. xxxjr

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

11:41 PM
Posted by jodi rose

So I almost tumbled headlong into the abyss of self-doubt, anxiety and despair this evening... all brought on by a random myspace inadequacy - one day I really will pimp that layout - and just managed to puil myself back from the brink. Don't even pick up that cup of poisoned bitterness and cycnicsm, let alone drink from it. Throw it right back where it came from. Survived the evening without too much self-flagellation. Still a little wobbly about the whole art / creative thing. Feeling very out of practice. Looking at my body of work in the various fragments that still exist, and thinking woefully inadequate for so much time and effort.

Tony B asked me when I was pitching a radio feature to him last year 'Yes, but are you any good?' Well, hell, if you don't know by now....

Anyway, we've talked about this before. The whole artist as fake thing. Everyone gets it now and then. That and the tiny sliver of ice in the heart of every writer. Double trouble. And hey, if I am a fake, I'm doing a damn good job at it! Beyond fake, as dear courtney says. A friend was at the groucho club a few weeks ago, hanging out with some ex-neighbors stars now doing theatre in the west end, and reported seeing a very trashed courtney leaving the premises. Someones gotta live that crazy rock'n'roll life. The same friend was almost sold for three camels in egypt last week, but her gay husband decided that wasn't enough camels. 'And they weren't even the fancy white police camels!' she said, indignantly. Very cool adventuress.

Was there a point to all this, or indeed any of it? I think not. Just some blah that unravelled in the bath. Time for reflection and reassessment. Nothing too big or sudden. No fast moves. I'm learning.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

9:08 AM
Posted by jodi rose

It'll be better in the morning.... I think you're being too hard on yourself

Me? Never!

Two completely unrelated comments from entirely divergent people yesterday. And yes, I am always too hard on myself. It's just that, I know exactly what I'm capable of and it's frustrating when things slide into less than amazingly fantastic. Still, I guess one can't keep up that energy level and momentum all the time. Dammit.

So, I took myself out for an evening walk, through the crisp deepening twilight, and discovered the park and cinema at the other end of my nearest street, also a bright yellow tardis. Which I got into and tried to timetravel, but so far I haven't confirmed exactly when I have arrived into.... Also walked past three psyiotherapie praxis' and a chi gong studio. Prenzlauer Berg really is the mecca for body work. And babies. They're everywhere. Apparently the whole of Germany is having a population decline; except P'zler Berg. I believe it.

Listening to KCRW 'Morning Becomes Eclectic', yesterdays show. That's my new thing. Great radio from afar. Although I just signed up to be part of the production team for a Sunday night art and music show on a new internet radio station in Berlin. And also possibly my own show, revisiting the 'conversations with artists' format. Transit Lounge Radio, Part Three. Stay tuned for details from Oct 28th.

Mmmmm and finally sorted out making coffee at home. After many attempts to improvise, and my bodum disaster of yesterday, have one of those filter tops and let it drip straight into the cup. If I could hook it up direct to my veins I would. Think the coffee grains would be painful mixing with blood. And the doctors never can find a vein when they need to, I'd be a terrible junkie. That and not liking drugs so much. Very un-rock'n'roll. Ah well, they say you become what you love... maybe I am now a bridge. Although, it comes and goes, the pontist inclination. I wouldn't let Julaine call me a Pontist the other day, but could perhaps live with it now. Slowly creeping towards a second or fifth or tenth or hundredth incarnation of the bridge songs.

Markus laughed at me when I said I was feeling like an underachiever, and said, 'It's fine to do just one CD in three years. Take your time!'

Back from bridges now and onto mapping. Up early and at my computer, ready to finish drawing those polygons. Really need to go visit someone and get my back unkinked, one of these fine days.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

6:42 PM
Posted by jodi rose

... it's not so hard, you just need the right shoes.

the problem with being a closet perfectionist with a tendency towards laziness is that if you don't get something right the first time, it's too easy to just give in and be enveloped by total chaos. or so I was thinking, as I lay in the bath having a minor dienstag meltdown.

still trying to do too much.
julaine said to me on skype, 'you can have a day off, jodi.'
no! no, I can't. it all falls apart when I stop.
swirling. twirling. whirling.

I feel like one of those cartoon characters who has walked off a cliff, and is blithely continuing through thin air... until I look down.

Having a strange mix of way too much time alone in front of the screen - which is my main source of work, entertainment, and communication - but also completely overwhelmed by so much stuff going on in the real world outside; some of which I even get out to.

Think I'm talking to myself way too much - but then I make perfect sense. It's only other people who confuse me. And the sudden influx of conversation on skype is probably a good thing, suddenly there are other people here in the room with me. Giving wardrobe advice to Philippa in croatia; "Do you think people would call us bimbo's?" she asked the other day... 'God, I hope so!" I replied. It's been a while since I was taken for a bimbo. Well, at least I think it is. ;)

Confusing the hell out of 10 month old Lola down in Salzberg, who keeps looking at the screen wondering where Auntie Jodi really is.

Yes, well, that's the six million dollar question. Woke up today with the horrors. 'What the hell am I doing here? And how on earth can I keep on getting away with this kind of life? It's ridiculous!!' Think I'm adjusting to life in Berlin a little too well. Ich habe eine problem mit kreislauf. (Schmerz-Angst-Depression) Vague, fuzzy-headed and totally unable to cope - and that was after three early nights and plenty of sleep. Does it get easier or harder? My brain is fragmenting. Too many words in different places.
Or worlds. Walking round the corner for emergency chocolate now.

Then will come back and attempt to resucitate the various splinters of this strangely wonderful or wonderfully strange freeform life and art.