TRAVEL DIARY

A weblog regularly updated by Jodi Rose.

Monday, September 12, 2005

11:32 AM
Posted by jodi rose

have almost recovered my mental tone after having a few days off to take a long hard look at myself.

fragile state of mind, verging on hysterical and self-indulgent I know - but have realised that all the people who seem to want something really are just trying to help me realise this insane vision. I just need to be a few steps in front and keep my head across the various aspects of the project.

remembered to relax again - bought some new music, 'the magic numbers' are totally floating my boat with their wry urban country folk twist on life.

walking in the mornings regularly too gives those endorphins a bit of a shake - love to go watch the ducks in the lake at queen vic park, after my hour is up. They come in a variety of styles; pure white with orange beacks; small brown and speckled; and my favourites with opalescent green head, white stripe and dark chocoalte body. Sometimes all of them sit around on these brick walls in the water - not sure if these used to be fountains before our dams got to critical level, or just weird lake ornaments - but the ducks love them, and it makes their floating take on a lovely circular pattern. Eleven on there the other morning, trying to will another duck to join them for an even dozen, but then two more came along and they started bickering for positions and some floated away. This morning I saw an eel drifting along by the wall, she seemed to notice me and stopped when I did, then kept swimming and looking up at me as I walked. Wondering how she was going to get out of the lake to Fiji and lay her eggs - we fed the eels in a river in NZ they have the crazies light blue eyes and feel like velvet until they get scared and go all slimy.

Watched the final in a series on country music which dad and cher had taped - fantastic episode on the women in country music. Hillbilly feminist honkytonk angels - I love country song titles - 'it wasn't god who made honkytonk angels' and 'the root of all evil is a man'; 'don't come here a drinkin with lovin on your mind' 'your good girls gonna go bad'.
Inspired to make a musical shift and write some ukelele bridge country songs. Who knows if that one will ever happen - but it's fun to imagine.

Definitely sensing a shift in direction, am really tired of the pure abstract world of sound art - I know, heresy, treason - but just haven't been finding that much nourishment or inspiration in the field. Some lovely work going on, but it can be so dry and soulless at some level. A twangin' guitar and pop melody really does start to be very appealing - and after all that was the tip jasmine gave me on the future of electronic experimental music when I interviewed her in Berlin - everyone's going POP!

And you know, this needs to be fun and to evolve. It really is serious enough without me taking it too seriously. There's still the global symphony underway for those who crave their abstract sounds pure, but I'm really drawn to making something with maybe a story, some characters, a little entertainment perhaps...

Also watching the doco series on the american musical, courtesy of my gorgeous mum who rings me on a sunday night and reminds me it's on - actually fascinating the level of social commentary and political satire that was part of the broadway musical from the 50's to the late 70's. Like in 'A Chorus Line', the first musical to be workshopped using material from the dancers own lives, about how being a broadway dancer is like being a factory worker - 'that was the genius of Bennett - he gave the audience what they expected, but what he meant was another thing'. It ran for 15 years and revived the entire broadway district and theatre scene - although mainly for tourists, which isn't necessarily a good thing. Then talked about how the musical was meant to be light entertainment, keep the dark side of culture out of the frame - but Sondheim got right in there and sang about it (in Sweeney Todd), and Chicago based on corruption, murder, greed and sin - it's interesting how subversive mainstream american culture can be at times - until the life gets drained out of it.

And as Justin the fabulous famed ranting philosopher reminded me at the primavera opening last week; according to Jacques Lacan the ONLY moral imperative is 'don't give way on your desire'.
Once you do that, everything crumbles and is lost - including your sense of self and meaning - but if you stay true to your desires and keep working towards them, at least you can live with yourself.