TRAVEL DIARY

A weblog regularly updated by Jodi Rose.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

5:52 PM
Posted by jodi rose

happy young people playing in the sunshine

Thinking in the bath about youth - and whether it is indeed wasted on the young - now I'm starting to feel my advancing years creep up and demand their toll. Keep meeting wonderfully grown-up teenagers, who remind me of myself in various ways - I was 14 going on 24 - the latest, Victoria who came to coordinate the kitchen for the open day weekend was delightful, sassy, into speed-car racing but equally excited about her gown for the upcoming ball. Gorgeous. And of course Mary, back in Slovakia also had qualities I now recognise in myself - preternaturally mature and self-confident (but with hidden streaks of doubt) - it's a strange feeling, meeting people who evoke nostalgia for how you used to be. At the time, completely taking it for granted - as I probably am now, although feeling creaky and decripit.

There's that strange thing, too where you're in the country but actually walk less - strolling along state highway number 2 just isn't that enticing, and the backyard connects to the paddock filled with a neighbours cows - they still scare me en masse, even after all these years. Those solemn eyes and solid, unmoving bodies.

Then I had an email from my cousin's schoolmate and now an art colleague of mine, asking for contact details to let my cousin k. know about the 20 year high school reunion. eeek. uggghhh. lucky they're a year older than me... but still, that's come on damn quickly.

Scrolled through the info about our school on the website - which didn't exist ten years ago when I tried to find out about the reunion - not that I'm a geek or anything (?!??!?), although the romy and michelle experience could be kinda funny - but we had great interesting cool fun people at high school. The geography teacher used to call us 'the gypsies', hanging out down the back, smoking (I didn't - even under peer pressure), wearing headscarves (ok, well I did that) and 'jigging' to play pool in the nearby poolhalls (ooops, guilty there too) notice I'm not even going to mention alcohol consumption.

See, even after a missepent youth it's amazing how far you can come when you do decide to focus. My trouble was being smart enough to not have to try very hard for many years, and then when I did need to start applying myself had become very lazy and bored easily. Once you find something to apply yourself too though, you can achieve a lot, even as an average student. (that's going in the speech!)

So, there I was, flicking over the pages of maroon memory - and up smiles my old (no she was quite young then and looks the same now) music teacher, who I find out is now the principal. Way to go!

It made me really happy to see her there, leading those young adults with passion, humour and integrity - even if she did tell me, years ago 'you can't even play the piano, what makes you think you could sing?' which may have been part of her humour, dealing with uber-intense teenagers all day long, but I took it to heart. Not realising the inherent illogicality of the statement - it's amazing how those off-the-cuff comments can stay with you for years, shaping your sense of self and making you do all kinds of weird things. Like prove that it doesn't matter wether or not I can sing, play the piano, draw or act - I can play bridges, and that's something else!!

Ah the fragile skeins of adolescent self-confidence.
It concerns me how much time, energy and emotion women spend worrying about weight and attractiveness, when really we could be using all that mental effort to do whatever it is we want to do. Not waiting to be the perfect shape or have enough money or find love or buy a house or have the right job first.