TRAVEL DIARY

A weblog regularly updated by Jodi Rose.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

3:57 PM
Posted by jodi rose

I couldn't remember my visa card pin for over a week, vanished completely out of my head on a trip to Esztergom one day. Both cards were new and so hadn't become embedded deeply enough in my subconscious, and once you stop and try to focus on the numbers they seem to evaporate. Tried random and likely combinations twice a day, scared the machine would eat it on the third mistake. Tried a whole series of numbers which popped out of my subconscious and felt vaguely familiar, but none worked, and the more you try and remember, or think about it the less sense it makes. A bit like life really. I guess.

At least I could still sign for things or shop online, but thankfully the amnesia has passed now. It felt symptomatic of a deeper malaise. Something about knowing I had a purpose once, and now despite the almost laughable misapprehension displayed by some that I have a structure to my life via this bridge project, I feel somewhat adrift, an intangible sense of being slightly off-kilter or at a loose-end. Which hasn't completely abated, despite the return of my lost code.

The rejections keep coming, a little too regularly now. It appears the electronic-media-art-festival circuit is no longer sure how it fits into their program, or they've seen it all before. Oh dear. Such a short shelf life as an idea has. Is that a backlash I feel?
No, just being paranoid or maybe realistic. No need to take these things to heart, in fact it can be a relief to find yourself out of fashion, all the more reason to keep on doing it... More than just a trend.

So, I'm working on alternative options and assessing partnership possibilities. Construction industry, engineering, architects, concrete companies - these kind of corporate structures I am curious about, and have an inkling of how we can work together from completely different approaches.

Florian, the current bridge guard who is an artist and engineer has promised some interesting contacts, and I have a list longer than my arm of people to approach. What is needed now is some kind of whizzbang technical setup that can be applied anywhere, and adapted to various outcomes but is simple and elegant. Old technology could be the answer. Telephone, radio... testing testing. can you hear me? So, it's not quite over yet, just a brief hiatus. regroup, rethink, reposition, restart.

Glanced at the world news last week and it was horribly depressing. Hasn't Beruit been bombed enough? What did happen to that earthquake warning system? surely it can't be that hard to set up some kind of rudimentary information relay. Telephone providers could send text messages to all their users, they don't seem to mind doing it for advertising, and it would reach enough people surely for the word to spread quickly. Look at flash mobs.

Best not think about the real world sometimes. It's going to be a bumpy ride when I do seriously try to reintegrate. Although Jack thinks I will be fine, and he's a cynical pragmatist if ever I met one. Most people seem to be getting through the day as best they can, and then distracting themselves with whatever amusement or entertainment works. Not a criticism, but reflecting on this in my slovakian riveria town. People come for holidays here from far more remote villages, and make their own fun, playing catch in the pool for hours on end, then strolling with ice creams. It reminds me of family holiday in sussex inlet, or the farm in new zealand, where you really did have to make your own diversions. That and the fabulous sixties floral prints and orange lace curtains.

A little nihilistic today, nothing means anything - there is no deeper significance other than what you give it. So do it playfully with passion and irreverence. Something fun and lighthearted, populist and silly is very appealing to me right now.