TRAVEL DIARY

A weblog regularly updated by Jodi Rose.

Wednesday, November 1, 2006

12:02 PM
Posted by jodi rose

finally managed to drag myself out of bed through a combination of hunger and anxiety that if I stayed there all day it could be the beginning of a long decline. Not sure exactly what I'm up for now, still challenged by my lack of structure and routine. Thrown into high relief by not having a major project or strong through-line to draw me forward.

I know that I can get wired up and do the next thing.. but this level of exhaustion underlying worries me. Feel like I need to really address some of the underlying issues in my life, not just mask it with another bout of busy projects and hectic travel schedule. Article in the trashy sunday magazine last week talked about how we're addicted to being 'busy', that it makes people feel more important, powerful, needed and less alone. A friend last night demonstrated this, with her hectic recap of past weeks - and I know her well and can see all too clearly the stress and other faultline fractures under that incredibly capable exterior of professional and social whirl. It's when you stop whirling, what then. ? Yes, I am really alone. Yes, life is this uncertain.

I know, we're all born alone and we die alone - but in between it sure is grand to share the good times and bad with people we care about.

It used to be a dream that love would anchor me somewhere - anywhere- but now I hope more to be solid ground for each other.
Even if it's moving beneath our feet - like that CS Lewis book with the interplanetary travels and an ocean-planet with land that is always undulating and floating on the waves.

Have only just discovered this very cute site, but think it's changed my life! Quirkyalone: 'A person who enjoys being single (but is not opposed to being in a relationship) and generally prefers to be alone rather than dating for the sake of being in a couple. With unique traits and an optimistic spirit; a sensibility that transcends relationship status'. I scored very high on their quiz...

Then again, so much for being alone, I seem to do nothing but go from one social engagement to another... weeks of it in melbourne and starting up again in sydney. Do need to fit some work in somewhere...

Walked out of my house today and someone had drawn an angel in the sky. Beautiful use of skywriting jets - halo, wings and long legs.