TRAVEL DIARY

A weblog regularly updated by Jodi Rose.

Thursday, February 8, 2007

10:07 AM
Posted by jodi rose

A complete stranger wrote to me last week, and asked:
'How do I become a Saint?'
'I don't know', I tried to reply, 'I'm still working on becoming a human being. Some kind of miracle, perhaps?' but the email bounced back.

Anyway, I have developed my own four step - program or pillars of wisdom - to get me through the days. Along with 'courage, grace and love' from a friend's photographer friend, written on the studio wall.

Show up
Be present
Keep dancing
Let go

I think at least 80% of life is just showing up.
Having failed dismally at that recently, it's really provoked a growth spurt. Lucky, as I was somewhat challenged in my emotional development in some areas. But then, maybe we all are, somewhere.

Visited my guru the other day, and she told me:
be happy. It's really very simple, you have a choice to be happy or not, in any moment or circumstances. Don't try or analyse or worry about what you have and haven't got, are and aren't, simply choose to be happy now.

I know this is sounding like a dreadful american motivational catchphrase (and by the way, I'm seriously going to write one of those 'achieve your dreams and live the life you imagine' for artists, cynics and other misfits' books one day) but when you think about it, it's more zen-like. You don't need any 'thing' or any 'one' to show how or make it happen - it's all there in your mind.

So, maybe one day we will approach a leonard cohen-like state of calm, grace and humour. I saw the movie 'I'm your man' tonight, interspersing performances from the 'came so far for beauty' tribute show at sydney festival with a lovely interview - the songs are so great, especially the wainwrights, beth orton, antony and jarvis cocker, but I could listen to his voice for hours.

Anyway, Leonard says: 'when you stop seeing yourself as the hero of your life, and stop expecting to win' - something amazing happens... But I can't remember what (that's me, not him with the memory lapse this time)

One of his artworks: "I never got rich/ I never found the girl/ Follow me"

and final words of pain and wisdom 'my reputation as a ladies man made me laugh bitterly at the ten thousand nights I spent alone.' aaah leonard.

More conversations in the studio today and my psychology homework (there'll be a quiz on which is which and what is what):

segue into whales in the opera house
you'll get attached
no, I'm practising letting go
you need more than bubble
I thought I heard a random tick

Funny, reading my notes for composition from 2005, and am banging on about exactly the same things - good to see at least the angst is consistent.