TRAVEL DIARY

A weblog regularly updated by Jodi Rose.

Monday, April 30, 2007

3:48 PM
Posted by jodi rose

my life here in berlin seems to consist of an endless series of negotiations between one place and another. moving bags of stuff around, washing other peoples sheets or bathrooms, packing and repacking without ever really unpacking. cycling for hours a day, along roads that fade to hazy uncertainty beyond the known paths, linking the concrete strips with the image on a map to find the next place to stop for a moment.

reading J.G. Ballard's 'High Rise' in between, eerily reminiscent of the frankfurter allee apartment tower, where I return tonight for a few evenings of bonding with the now familiar artists still iiving there. that and the most spectucular, rejuvenating bath in berlin. and the slowly revolving deutsche bahn sign ten floors below.

a nice circularity to this particular experience of berlin.

talking with rob and katie at morgenland yesterday, about wether to try and resucitate my flagging career... rob pointed out that 'career' means: to veer wildly about. so I guess in those terms, I'm doing ok.

then derek reminded me that it's been a good few overseas trips and really I have nothing to complain about.

the necessity of living very much day-to-day has given me the unexpected benefit of having to become incredibly zen about life.
really 'in-the-moment' now!

and getting my head around uploading all the pixelache conversations by ftp in batches, finally. so they're on archive.org now, and will be individually addressed in the transit radio website sometime soon.

enjoying the ongoing conversations that have been sparked by these meetings also, maybe segueing into some other interesting projects.

the 'I'm not trying anymore - I give up' moment is still there, not so much in a foot-stamp 'It's not working the way I want so why bother' way, more of a: 'this long process has stretched me to the limit of all my resources - emotionally, financially, geographically - and instead of tightening the frail rubber band of my and capacity to cope with life to snapping point, I'm choosing to let it all go and see what rises from the ashes' kind of attitude. already today I have news from luka that the 'play bridge vj' controller instrument receives some funding from their slovenian cultural body; so that is very exciting and gives a spark of hope. even if we just have that made, to play some fun gigs it would be good. The other bridges can take care of themselves for a while.

tonight I go to help jacob and sarah move boxes into their new apartment - just arrived from cologne - I look forward to this as a vicariously grounding exercise!